Dear Friends and Ward Family,

There has been one overwhelming spiritual impression the Lord has blessed me with these last few years.  This impression has been difficult to explain or put into words.  It is easy to put a title on it, but not so easy to understand or truly comprehend unless you have experienced it or been blessed to see others experience it. 

The Joy of Receiving Forgiveness

We have all made mistakes in our lives.  Some mistakes are so huge that we can’t foresee a way to be forgiven.  The shame and the guilt we feel can carve a scar deep into our souls.  These experiences affect us and become part of us.  In our classroom of life, they teach us wonderful, painful lessons, but do not define who we are to become.  The offense of another can have the same effect on us, especially when trust is broken and the chasm of mistrust over time is so deep, the scar so raw, the pain has cut to our very core.

10 I, the Lord, will ^aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to ^bforgive all men.

Doctrine and Covenants 64:10

and

34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all ^aknow me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their ^biniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. 

Jeremiah 31:34

My experience is that receiving forgiveness and forgiving ourselves is much harder than forgiving others of their mistakes.  Here are a few stories from my life that demonstrate to me why.

Back in high school, I remember losing my temper with a good friend.  He wasn’t doing anything wrong.  He was simply interrupting me or doing something that irritated me at the time.  I lost it, pushed him up against the lockers hard.  I remember the details of what I did to him as if it was yesterday.  The interesting part about this event is that I don’t remember any detail about what irritated me.  Years later I have asked him for his forgiveness for what I did to him and he responded by saying he doesn’t even remember what I described to him as happening.  It didn’t scar him, it scarred me. 

This next story is a little harder to share because I’m still ashamed of my actions.  I was 13 and I was so excited for my brother to receive his mission call.  I was the only one home when the postman delivered the mail.  I couldn’t hold back the excitement when I saw the letter from “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” addressed to my older brother. 

I can hear your gasp as you read the words that I write.  Yes, I opened my brother’s mission call.  The feelings of shame still flood my heart as I write.  Let’s continue the story. 

My dear kind father who hated contention, who never raised his voice with me with the exception twice, this was one of those times.  I was being a lazy teenager laying on the floor watching TV.  When he got the news that I had opened this letter, his anger came out in a rage and this rage hit the roof.  He came over to me at the peak of this rage and kicked me in the side and broke two of my ribs.  Seeing me in my discomfort his rage immediately stopped and his kindness and compassion quickly returned.  Just the other day my brother and I discussed our father and the few very justified times in our father’s life when he spoke harsh words or actions.  We remember these times as learning experiences in our classroom of life but don’t hold any resentment toward our father for his losing his composure.  As we discussed the opening of his mission call, it was evident to me that my brother didn’t even remember that it was I that opened it. 

My father has now passed.  He experience a stroke about 3 years before his death and during those three years his temperament changed and his emotions were easier expressed as the stroke removed this filter from his mind.  My brother and I both experienced times during the last three years of my father’s life where our Father asked for our forgiveness of these few times when he lost his control in reaction to things that we had done in our lives. 

It is clear to me that my father remembered the details of his actions and had not felt forgiven or had not forgiven himself for his actions.  As we reflect on these events in our lives we have forgiven him years ago yet he held on to his guilt and shame and we still hold on to the guilt and shame of our actions.

One last story.  This past month, Heather and I, along with our two older children had the opportunity to be present when someone else experienced the Joy of receiving the forgiveness of another.  Many of you know that we traveled with Olivia our 19-year-old daughter to Philadelphia to meet her birth parents.  We adopted Olivia when she was about 5 weeks old and she has always wanted to meet her parents. 

We set up a meeting in a neutral location and arrived early.  When Olivia’s birth mother, Megan, arrived it was clear that this was not easy for her.  Her guard was up but she softened quickly as we all embraced and as we expressed gratitude to her for allowing us to raise the child she brought into the world.  She sat across the table from Olivia and they asked questions of each other allowing us to put some input in at times.  At one point, Megan leaned to ask for Olivia’s forgiveness for giving her up for adoption.  Olivia was so sweet with her response, “You have nothing to be forgiven of.” 

The next day Olivia went to the salon to receive a hair treatment with Megan.  When they were finished, I heard Megan say, “This is the best day of my life!” 

Thank you, Megan, for the future you gave her and the blessing she has been in our life.  There are two miracles that happened that day.  The true miracle is the growth Olivia has experienced by being so quick to forgive.  And, the joy of forgiveness Megan has received by accepting her forgiveness.  I can only imagine the years of pain that have been released.

I testify that the Joy our Savior wants us to feel comes from forgiving others.  Yet, he knows that even more Joy can be achieved when we receive forgiveness and allow ourselves our own forgiveness.  His Joy is great and he wants us all to experience it.

Love,

• Bishop Jeff Anderson
• Highland 28th Ward
• 801-372-2072
• [email protected]
• Ward Blog: www.highland28th.org
• Dave Summers, Ward Executive Secretary
• 801-361-9224
• [email protected]

“Stay Humble, Work Hard, & Be Kind”